Written by Bob Schindler, Executive Director of CEDE Partners – an Initiative of CEDE Sports
This is not the way things are supposed to be!
“Kobe Bryant and his daughter died in a helicopter crash.” (1/26/2020)
I saw the headline on ESPN.com as I was driving back to Charlotte from Knoxville, TN on Sunday. Death again arrested me, stopped me in my tracks and sucker punched me that afternoon, and I am not even a Laker or Kobe fan.
I started to read the blogs, posts, & stories about Kobe’s death, I realized the impact I experienced was a common one:
- “It’s one of the most shocking, tragic days that I’ve ever been a part of in a very quick span here,” (Tiger) Woods said.
- “There’s no words to express the pain I’m going through with this tragedy of losing my niece Gigi & my brother @kobebryant I love u and u will be missed. My condolences go out to the Bryant family and the families of the other passengers on board. IM SICK RIGHT NOW.” Shaq posted on Instagram.
- “I am in shock over the tragic news of Kobe’s and Gianna’s passing. Words cannot describe the pain I’m feeling. I loved Kobe – he was like a little brother to me.” Michael Jordan posted on Instagram.
- Bryce Johnson summed it up by saying. “The sports world was especially shocked when learning that one of their greatest athletes to ever put on a uniform was gone. I, personally, had a hard time grasping such a heartbreaking reality.”
Death is always an intruder but appears even more so when someone dies “prematurely” like this.
This is not the way things are supposed to be!
Underneath our deep shock is the claim of this cry. My mom expressed it after my sister died. “Children aren’t supposed to die before their parents,” she went on to say.
When I look deeper inside, I affirm this cry. Kobe’s death interrupts and disrupts our thought that we are all supposed to live to ripe old ages. Kobe’s death reminds us that we aren’t ever guaranteed that desire. Life can be rudely and tragically interrupted.
In the light of that reminder, we might be stirred to be more respectful of how little we control, how dependent we are, and how quickly life passes, even if we live a long life. The Apostle James calls us to such thinking:
Come now you who say, “Today or tomorrow we shall go to such and such a city and spend a year there and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”
James 4:13-15
We also might determine to be more grateful for the days we are given to live.
These are good and godly thoughts coming in the wake of this news. I would ask you to consider one more.
At the heart of the cry – “This is not the way things are supposed to be!” – is an understanding or a perspective of life as it is “supposed” to be. This “supposed to be” life is life with a rightness or a goodness that we know inherently, as well as a corresponding wrongness that is just as keenly known. These tragic interruptions – like Kobe’s and his daughter’s death – remind us of the “rightness” and the “wrongness”. This is why Kobe’s death is such a tragedy and produces such a shock.
This is not the way things are supposed to be!
But where does this understanding of the way life is supposed to be come from? Christians affirm this comes from God and an understanding of the Story of the Gospel, which places Jesus Christ, the Hero of this Story, at the center. This Story puts forth life in four chapters – Creation, Fall, Redemption, and Consummation.
Creation He made it all. Life as it OUGHT to be.
Fall We lost is all. Life as it IS.
Redemption He did it all. Life as it CAN be.
Consummation We get it all. Life as it WILL be.
Deep within us, from the beginning of time, is this recognition of the way life ought to be but also a resignation of life as it actually is. We can deny it, try to suppress or kill it, but it is there none the less.
Kobe’s death cuts open our hearts and exposes this cry.
Finally
The final application of Kobe’s death I would ask you consider is to let this cry move you – to admit you want something different from the way things are. The Scriptures refer to this admission as “groaning.”
- “For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” Romans 8:22,23
- For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.” 2 Corinthians 5:1-4
While we acknowledge this groan, let us also look to Jesus Christ who promises “I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:1) He is currently bringing the redemption we all long for, the reversal of the way things are, and the return to what they ought to be. He promises that the process of redemption will one day be complete. At that completion, he will “wipe every tear from their eyes” and there will be “no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things” will be gone. (Revelation 21:4)
On that day, we will never again say – “This is not the way it is supposed to be!”
Bob, twenty years ago my father passed away and a pastor friend sent me a note and said, “I hate death.” Since then I have used this phrase numerous times I, too, hate death. It hurts and separates. Scripture says it is the last enemy of God’s to be destroyed. I believe this provides us a basis to hate it. But praise God, death is not the final word and it will be destroyed!
Thanks so much for your comment. I think it is a good thing to hate death. When Jesus said, “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25) he is stating he is the antithesis of death. As this antithesis to death, when he stood before Lazarus’ tomb, he is deeply moved. This word in the original is also translated to sternly warn, charge or scold. One Greek dictionary gives the additional thought that this is a feeling of indignation. I like to think of this Life “growling” at death, expressing his disgust and his intent to take it on.