“Why are my sports still so much about me?”
A friend of mine asked me this question recently as we sat and talked about a recent sports experience he had. He didn’t realize that his playing was all about him at first. However, as we talked about what he thought and felt and why, he realized his playing was for the most part that day all about him.
In this experience, my friend had given me the permission to use the laboratory of sports to “learn some things” about himself, things he didn’t necessarily like to see. He had hoped that after the years of walking with Jesus that this would be different, that he would be different.
I got his pain. Just recently, I played a round of golf (I played professional golf for four years a long, long, long time ago) where I just stunk. I mean stunk. I hit one 3 iron about 40 yards – when it was supposed to go about 200 yards. I hit bad shot, after bad shot after bad shot that day.
That night I just wanted to withdraw from all contact with people.
The next morning, as I sat with the Lord, he graciously showed me the shame I felt that moved me to withdraw and how I had once again tied my identity to my performance. This was a lesson he drove deep into my soul long ago during my years of posting my identity every day in the realm of golf. Yet, here again I was faced with the same challenge.
Like my friend, I hoped things would be different, I would be different.
What happened next was significant. As I confessed the reality of my shame and the beliefs about my performance and its impact on my identity, the Lord once again affirmed the truths about his love for me, who I am in his eyes, the cross and the promised forgiveness for my bad beliefs.
As I turned to these truths, the shame was lifted. With joy, I headed out to another opportunity to play renewed, asking God to transform me.
Do you see what happened? While I may have been disappointed that I still struggled with my sports being about me, this laboratory revealed not only that struggle but also my need for the gospel. This need provided the opportunity for the gospel to come alive for me again that day.
I told my friend this truth – the laboratory of sports, that reveals our self-centeredness, also shows us our need of the gospel.
He liked that idea as well and rather than leaving our conversation discouraged by his self-centeredness, he went away rejoicing in Jesus and his gospel that takes us in our self-centeredness, loves us, forgives us, and promises to transform us.
That seems like a good use of the laboratory, don’t you think?